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You're breaking your own heart

Have you ever heard the saying "you are your own worst enemy"? Sometimes, that is exactly what we are. Our own worst enemy, repeatedly staying in toxic relationships. You know the relationship is bad for you, it always has been. You know that there is no future yet you keep staying or you keep going back to what you know (but pretend not too) is going to hurt you.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

There are many reasons. We love them. We have self-esteem issues. We don't value ourselves enough. We struggle to cope with change. We have attachment issues. We've suffered abuse therefore we feel compelled to stay in relationships that are similar.

Or maybe you don't understand what 'love" is. This was my turning point, realising that love didn't mean you had to stay were you weren't appreciated.

Love does not fix anything. Nor will it be the catalyst for change in them. Loving them harder won't make them change, or love you back the way you deserve to be loved.

In many cases, we haven't learnt how to deal with our emotions and many of us were never taught how to cope with change in life. Factoring in all of these reasons, it's not surprising at all that people end up breaking their own hearts, struggling to escape this cycle.

If you ever feel like you're crazy by not being able to hop off this merry-go-round, you are not crazy. Let me validate that for you. The deeper psychological goings on explain why this isn't as simple as 'just walk away'.

You haven't learnt the skills to be able to have that conversation with yourself. To separate the head from the heart. There's a fundamental change that needs to happen from within, that many of us are too afraid to face. Sometimes we just don't know how.

That is where strength comes from. This is why facing your pain is a battle for greatness. That saying, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", is a powerful example of this.

It can break you, if you let it. Or, it can strengthen you to the point where you become someone you didn't believe you had within you.

When we find ourselves in these types of situations where we feel were not being heard, were being taken for granted or we are not getting what we deserve, we have to ask ourselves, "why am I allowing this to happen to me?".
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