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Why does he treat me this way?

 
Because you let him.

The end.

I'm kidding! But sometimes we need to hear it bluntly. Why are you letting him treat you this way? Think about that for a second (opens up pandoras box!). Like many women before you, I'm sure there are many reasons why you continue to stay. And I don't blame you. And they are probably valid.

Here's the thing though, only you can dictate what is acceptable and what is not. Only you can decide who gets be in your life and who doesn't. The reason he keeps treating you this way is because he knows he can get away with this behaviour (whatever it may be). It's hard, I get it, the emotions and attachment keep you here. However, the more you allow your emotions to control you, the less you are able to make rational decisions.

Our hearts only know how to love, they don't know how to say no, bless them ❤️

You have to learn how to separate your feelings from what your mind knows. If you can't rationalise even your thoughts, then you need assistance to do this (that's what sassy friends are for...or helpful coaches like me 😉).

Once you know what you need to do and what you deserve, then it's time to have a little chat to that heart of yours and give her the bad news...she can no longer tell you what to do. You (and your heart) deserve better and that is not going to happen staying in this situation. You know this.

You need to be realistic about the state of your relationship. Be honest with yourself.

If nothing changes, then nothing changes.

I will tell you this, if a person is showing you who they are, believe them. Patterns don't lie. If they are consistently doing things that hurt you, cause you anxiety or don't meet your standards, it's not just a pattern, IT'S WHO HE IS.

In this case, it really isn't you, it's him. Don't take it personally as if there is something wrong with you, his actions have nothing to do with you.

Don't wait for him to change, he most likely won't. Your job is not to fix him. That's his job. Unfortunately, we cannot change people. Change can only come from within (I know you think your love can change him).

As the saying goes, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Who does he think he is destroying a beautiful soul like yours? Don't allow him to make you feel as though you aren't worthy of being treated like an absolute queen! Don't let him break you down until you don't even know yourself anymore.

It's time to stand up for yourself and demand you be treated better. That starts with showing him you respect yourself enough to walk away from this garbage treatment. Does it matter what he says thereafter? Nope! Because you know better. You can't be tricked or manipulated. You've seen all you had to see. You know the patterns.

Change your perspective on things, it will give you clarity.

If you've tried to work it out, if he is showing you he isn't willing to work on his issues, it's time to go (your heart will be ok, I promise).

Yours in healing, Vanessa xx


 
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