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Why are you choosing the person that hurt you?

 
Let's start with a scenario.

Your sink is full of dishes. You hate doing them, it annoys you that it's looking messy, you don't have any utensils or plates anymore and your kitchen is starting to smell. It gets more and more overwhelming and they keep piling up.

"Why don't you just do the dishes then?" said Captain obvious.

This post isn't about why you're choosing this person but rather why you keep staying.

Much like the dishes piling up, you don't want to face the emotional 'sink full of dishes' that's keeping you here. It's too much work.

If you want to start healing and begin the process of moving on and letting go, YOU HAVE TO DO THE WORK.

In order to get this sink clean (your inner self and therefore the reason you keep holding on to this person), you're going to have to put on your gloves, separate and sort out the dishes in order to wash them and stack them. Put in the dish soap and start scrubbing away. Let the dishes sit then dry and put them away.

Rinse and repeat.

Translated, this means you gotta unpack all that messy stuff in your head and heart, deal with it and sort it in order to have space (and peace) to live a healthier life. To make way for a new, healthier relationship.

There's no magical cure here (I wish there were).

When you are objective and honest about your relationship and how it's impacting you, it's obvious you need to go. Right?

The issue here is that your focus needs to shift away from thinking about why you're choosing them, and start thinking about why you're not choosing you (and how to start!).
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