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Going back to your ex - good or bad idea?


Here's one thing I can say for sure, it's totally up to you whether you go back to an ex or not. It's your life, it's your decision, and hopefully you know what's best

Knowing what's best is key here. Oftentimes people go back to an ex without considering what is truly best for them. So what holds us back from making the right decision?

Emotions, attachment, memories, what if's and their potential. All of these pose a problem when making the decision of whether to return to an old flame because they all neglect to see the reality of the situation.

If we did everything based off of our emotions, we would all be in big trouble!

While there's nothing wrong with emotions, they need to be kept in check in order to make the right decisions in life. Often times our emotions don't see the reality of how bad this relationship really is. We're "blinded by love". Similarly, our attachment to memories and to the what if's also stop us from seeing reality. We see what we want to see based on how we're feeling (deeply and sometimes desperately in love).

The hardest part to accept is realising that you projected what you wanted them to be rather than truly seeing them for who they are. Think about it, is who they really are what you see? The curse of the 'potential' of who they could be, but if we see them for who they really are then we have to admit to ourselves that they're not the one. Coupled with emotions and attachment it's no wonder so many of us find it difficult to get out of this cycle.

Emotions are powerful and can be all consuming if not managed correctly.

So, is it a good idea to get back with your ex? It really all depends on the above and your circumstances. Are you thinking with your head or with your heart? Are you being honest with yourself and realistic about the state of your relationship? Are you truly accepting this person for who they are or are you seeing them through the lens of potential?

Yours in healing, Vanessa xx

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